WHEN IS A WHITE ALLIGATOR A RED HERRING?

Okay, granted, an albino alligator on the loose in San Francisco is pretty darn exciting. But my two cats, Rupert and Isabella, and I have better things to do than tail a reptile from Nob Hill to Fisherman’s Wharf. We’re investigating the mysterious Steinhart brothers, the 1900s-era benefactors who provided the original funding for Clive the alligator’s aquarium. Follow the money, as my uncle Oscar used to say…

In the media circus surrounding Clive, one clown gets a little too close to the renegade gator—our very own aspiring mayor, Montgomery Carmichael. We’d hate to see Monty meet an undignified end, but we’re on a hunt of our own—for Uncle Oscar’s latest treasure. Of course, that’s assuming the whole thing isn’t a crock…