How To Raise A Jewish Dog
Feb 2014 · Hachette UK
Ebook
176
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About this ebook
You don't have to own a dog and you don't have to be Jewish... A humour title about using guilt, shame and passive aggression to raise your dog that will have you barking with laughter.
A 'Not Missing Yet' sign informs neighbours that dog is not missing. Some trainers call this precaution unnecessary. We say: It couldn't hurt.
Finally! The dog training techniques and tips developed by the renowned Rabbis of the Boca Raton Theological Seminary are available in book form. Look out, monks. Step aside, whisperer. Rabbi Monica and Rabbi Alan show, step by step, how you can use guilt, shame, passive aggression, sarcasm and Conditional Unconditional Love to create an unbreakable bond with your dog. It's all here, including:
- The five ways of commanding 'Sit!' ('What, would it kill you to sit down for one lousy second?')
- A useful list of Advanced Commands ('Don't stare at Cousin Edith's hair when she comes over.')
- How to use Situational Martyrdom when the dog disobeys ('Fine. Do what you want. I hope you have a nice life.')
The rabbis have been training dogs - and their owners - for 20 years. Now they bring the fruits of their vast experience to dog owners everywhere. And the best part? You don't have to be Jewish to benefit from the programme. Just neurotic. Or crazy about your dog.
A 'Not Missing Yet' sign informs neighbours that dog is not missing. Some trainers call this precaution unnecessary. We say: It couldn't hurt.
Finally! The dog training techniques and tips developed by the renowned Rabbis of the Boca Raton Theological Seminary are available in book form. Look out, monks. Step aside, whisperer. Rabbi Monica and Rabbi Alan show, step by step, how you can use guilt, shame, passive aggression, sarcasm and Conditional Unconditional Love to create an unbreakable bond with your dog. It's all here, including:
- The five ways of commanding 'Sit!' ('What, would it kill you to sit down for one lousy second?')
- A useful list of Advanced Commands ('Don't stare at Cousin Edith's hair when she comes over.')
- How to use Situational Martyrdom when the dog disobeys ('Fine. Do what you want. I hope you have a nice life.')
The rabbis have been training dogs - and their owners - for 20 years. Now they bring the fruits of their vast experience to dog owners everywhere. And the best part? You don't have to be Jewish to benefit from the programme. Just neurotic. Or crazy about your dog.
About the author
Co-authors of the bestselling YIDDISH WITH DICK AND JANE and YIDDISH WITH GEORGE AND LAURA, Ellis Weiner has been an editor of NATIONAL LAMPOON, a columnist for SPY, and a contributor to many magazines, including THE NEW YORKER and THE NEW YORK TIMES MAGAZINE, Barbara Davilman is a writer for television and movies.
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